The Chickenshit and the Master Sergeant: A Ghost Story

Beth and me. When we aren't trying to kill each other.

This past week, I had the pleasure of staying at a resort in the White Mountains of New Hampshire that is a known ghost haunt. Okay, that sounds a lot creepier than it really is. It is a fabulous place that I've been to several times, and it just happens to have a few rooms that have had reports of strange things happening. Some people actually request those rooms. I'm not one of those people.

I can't say I like 'strange things happening' in my hotel room, but, I have come to the conclusion that I am a ghost magnet. A refrigerator for creepy things. Last week was no exception.

The first night, I woke and heard sounds from the bathroom. It was like someone was in there, looking around, maybe getting ready to take a shower, or just getting ready for bed. Even though it was very late, I assumed it was the room next to ours, assuming the bathrooms backed up to each other, assuming even further that there was someone in the room. I found out the next morning that the room was empty.

The next night, around three a.m., I again woke to the sounds of someone in our bathroom. I started to get out of bed. I don't know if I was going to wake my roomie Beth Garland who was sound asleep in the other bed or if I was going to investigate myself, but I was getting up. Then something grabbed me. Yes, GRABBED ME. It wrapped around me like a straight jacket, I couldn't move my arms, and it held me on the bed and wouldn't let me up. I kicked and kicked and kicked, strange that my legs worked, but it wouldn't free me. Finally, I remembered my roomie and yelled.  She didn't hear me, but whatever held me let go.

Have I mentioned what a total chickenshit I am?  This might be a good time to mention that, because the minute I was 'set free', I jumped three feet to the other bed, landing on top of my friend Beth, straddling her with my hands on her shoulders, screaming her name.

Did I mention that my friend Beth is a retired Army Master Sergeant? Yeah, this might be a good time to mention that, too. Without hesitation, Beth grabbed my throat and decided to strangle me. She's a lot stronger than I am. And she was serious about the strangulation.

At that point, I was screaming, silently, for the ghost or whatever other force that was in the room to intervene. Of course, no sound came out, because I was in the process of being choked to death. Then just before I became another hotel ghost, destined to haunt the halls for all eternity, Beth released me, too, and I fell into the bed next to her, gasping for air.

Hearing Beth recount this story in her point of view was hilarious, waking up from an "Oprah loves my book" dream to a mad woman straddling her in the middle of the night, had us both laughing and took the edge off a bit. But, we still slept with the light on. Like ghosts are afraid of a 40 watt bulb.

Please visit Beth Garland's website at www.bethanngarland.com
And check out the fabulous Mountain View Grand Resort in Whitefield, N.H.

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