My Money is on 'The Professor'

lGood friend and possibly the only gnome I actually know, Ben Ditmars, suggested that the castaways on Gilligan's Island were part of some kind of conspiracy. As he stated, " How far can a boat get in three hours? I think they could see a fire from Gilligan's Island in Hawaii." Hmmm. And that got me thinking.  This wouldn't have happened to a real Skipper, unless, of course, there were other forces at play. I mean, Tom Hanks made it off an island with nothing more than a soccer ball named Wilson, so what if ...

1. Possibly, no-one on land actually liked any of the castaways. Of course they could see the fires, they knew exactly where they were. They probably took bets on how long it would take them to make it back to Hawaii, just three hours away.  They had scrap from a boat and couldn't raft it for three hours?

2. The disappearance of the Minnow could have been an elaborate promotional stunt for Ginger's upcoming movie, "Ginger Goes Geisha".  Why else would she wear that sparkly gold dress on a boat?

3. Who goes on a 'three hour tour' without checking the weather? And doesn't the word 'tour' indicate that they would stick close to the islands, as in 'touring' the islands and not head straight out to sea? What kind of a Skipper was he? Barbie's little sister in drag?

4. I still wonder about the nature of Skipper and Gilligan's relationship.  Gilligan reminds me of a battered wife, and Skipper calls him 'my little buddy'. Maybe they planned the wreck of the Minnow, trying to find a way to escape the homophobia of Hawaii that kept them from expressing themselves as the couple that they were.

5. 'Professor' was a high school science teacher, his PhD was in Botany, and his reason for being on the Minnow was to do research for a book he intended to write titled "Fun with Ferns". Now, if you've ever done book research, 3 hours isn't enough time. And how many ferns are you going to have fun with on a boat? Sabotage. Professor needed time on an island for research, but needed others with him in order to survive.

6.  I think it is possible that the Howell's were escapees from a mental institution and were completely delusional. There were several visitors to the island and none of them went back and reported that a millionaire and his wife were stranded on an island. Think about it. A reward for their rescue? No? They were broke, their exile to the island saved the taxpayers money in further psychiatric care.

7. Maryanne-always suspect the sweet, innocent one. And she was from Kansas. You can't trust those sweet Kansas girls.

8. I also wonder about sex on the island. Obviously, Skipper and Gilligan were happy together, the Howells slept in twin beds and Thurston snuggled a teddy bear. That leaves Professor to get freaky with Ginger and Maryanne. Oh yes, It was definitely the Professor that made sure the rescue never happened.  

Got any good theories about Gilligan's Island? Share them here. Maybe we can shed some light on this impossible castaway situation.

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