It Takes One to Know One

The glasses I wear when reading Facebook posts

In the past week, things have been way too serious on social media sites. Apparently, there was some big election that has everyone's panties in a wad, and that's obviously where some people keep their sense of humor. But amidst the ranting, I was trolling the comments making a list of some of the ridiculously overused sayings that make no sense and the responses I would have liked to have made (I was on my best behavior).

'I'm not getting older, I'm getting better.' Actually, no, you're getting older. Get over it.

'It takes one to know one.' Let's see, I know that I'm not one, but I've seen the pictures you post online, and I'm pretty sure you are one. And everyone knows it.  

'The pot calling the kettle black.' I'd just like to thank the pot for not using any racial slurs. People could learn from the pot. We could call it Pot Etiquette. However, in Colorado that would take on an entirely new meaning.

'Boys never grow up, their toys just get bigger.' A boy came up with this one. Guaranteed.

'Toot your own horn.' Being able to toot your own horn is impressive. But, I'd kind of like to know how that discovery came about. One day, you and your friends were just sitting around with your horns out and someone said, "Hey, watch this!"

'Well color me Christmas.' What? What does that even mean?

'Tickled pink.' Being tickled until you turn pink is not a good thing. It is torture. If you tickle me pink, I will cut you.

'Bacon makes everything better.' Well, that one is true.

'Period.' This is of course following some profound (not) statement in sentence form that actually has a period at the end of it. Like the first period is not enough, you need to spell it out and add another period.

'Don't make me take my belt off.' Hmmm.  

'Boys will be boys.' Does anyone else see this and start singing Lola? I thought so.

'I've got your number.' Lose it. Period.

'I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole.' As if you have a ten foot pole to be touching things with.

Got any more?

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