BLOG: 6's & 7'S
![]() I have a problem. It's not that I don't think before I speak, it's just that sometimes, things pop out of my mouth unexpectedly. Okay, I don't always think before I speak, yes, I need an edit button, or at least a revise, at times. But this week, I've had a few classic foot-in-mouth moments that I have to share. 1. I went to see a patient, an elderly veteran, and my task was to perform a somewhat private procedure in an even more private place. I got there early and he was just getting out of the shower with the help of his very young Nursing Assistant, who didn't have a clear command of the English language. At least she didn't understand some of our more colorful expressions. While Mr. X sat in a chair, covered in nothing but a towel: Cute Nursing Assistant: I'll wait for you. Me: No, go ahead and finish, he needs to be dry for what I'm going to do. CNA: Oh, that's easy! (She runs back to the bathroom and returns with a blow dryer) Me (to patient): Looks like you are about to get blown. Okay, so yes, the minute it left my mouth, I realized what I had said. But, my ornery patient and I were both laughing so hard, I couldn't retract. CNA had no idea why we were laughing and had to make it worse by saying "Yeah, Yeah! I blow!" I think that's about the time I wet myself. All in a day's work. 2. Lucky for me, the very awesome guy who is trying to hire me has a sense of humor. We were talking on the phone and he said, "Call me tomorrow. Bug me if you have to." My response: I'm a very good bugger. Brief pause as we both realized what I had said and neither of us knew whether to laugh or just let it slide. Then he made a joke about Winston Churchill and the British Navy, and all was good. 3. At the car dealership, helping my son buy his first car, I was pretty excited about the life-sized cardboard Peyton Manning they had standing guard in the showroom. After we had signed all the papers, I asked our salesman, "Don't you have a bell or a gong or something to ring?" All the other dealerships we'd been to did. Salesman: No, but we do have a life-sized cardboard Peyton Manning. Me: Well, you should have him holding a bell or something. Salesman: He's pretty tall. I don't know that everyone could reach it. Me: I could ring Peyton's bell. Of course, that is the only sentence of the conversation that the other ten salesmen in the dealership heard and although I was a customer, they couldn't help but laugh. My son was the only one not laughing. Salesman: At least your son didn't catch that. My son: Oh, I caught it. But I've lived with her for a long time. You just get used to it.
10 Comments
KSG
9/14/2012 03:02:20 am
Of course, those of you that know me well know that I do this pretty much every day.
Reply
KSG
9/14/2012 03:02:51 am
I like to think I do that pretty good, too. :)
Reply
9/14/2012 06:26:35 pm
There was a group of three of us friends in high school. Of us, one girl was the one who, nine times out of ten, would make these comments and wind up with foot in mouth syndrome. Usually she wouldn't even realise what she'd said until it had left her lips! from my point of view, it was very entertaining.
Reply
KSG
9/14/2012 10:30:04 pm
I'm sure I entertain people with my mouth. Wait--that didn't sound right.
Reply
KSG
9/14/2012 10:31:11 pm
Grab a video camera-we could have a reality show. Kelly's Big Mouth. Or Oral Report.
Reply
jenifer badamo
9/14/2012 10:21:39 pm
This is too funny, Kelly, and I can definitely relate! My mother's famous words to me, "Not everything that's in your head has to come out of your mouth, Jenifer." LOL
Reply
KSG
9/14/2012 10:31:45 pm
Well, it has to come out somewhere! lol
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
![]() Now Available at:
Amazon B&N.com Kobo books Google Play Follow me on Twitter @KellySGamble
Like me on Facebook at K Stone Gamble
Visit my writing blog
|