It's Not a Willy

Self Portrait with 100 Foot Willy~Dean Harkness, Artist

I am a nurse and have been for a very long time. I talk about things at dinner that would make most people hurl. Seeing the human body, usually at its worst, is commonplace for me. Not a big deal.

What does bother me is how the male human species cannot refer to certain body parts by the correct term. Women have no problem saying 'breast' or 'vagina', but men? Different story.

So let's talk about penises. Yes, P-E-N-I-S. It is the proper word to use when referring to the male reproductive organ (by the way, it has other uses, too). It is a body part, similar to a foot or in most cases, a pinkie finger. However, men discovered theirs at the age of one, and I swear, by the age of 80, they still haven't lost their fascination with it.



But as your nurse, I am not impressed, I am not in awe of its presence, I don't care if you can tie cherry stems into a knot with it or if it speaks five different languages.

And let's call it what it is, shall we? It is not a Willy or a Johnson. It is not a tool, a soldier, a love gun, any kind of a monster or a trouser snake. It's definitely not the Incredible Hulk, in fact, if it's green, I'm not coming within fifty feet of it.

For God's sake, it's not a wiener, what are you, five?

And please don't call it Mr. Happy. If I'm seeing it, I'm probably getting ready to catheterize it, and he doesn't look too happy to me.

Repeat after me: PE-NIS. It's not a dirty word.



Dean Harkness is an amazing artist from the country of Norfolk in South East England. He is also an awesome nice guy. Except if you use his work, including the one above, without his express, written permission. Then you are likely to get your ass sued.

Please visit his website

Follow him on Twitter @Deanus

Check out his fantastic blog

Stalk him on Facebook

Self Portrait with 100 Foot Willy~Dean Harkness, Artist (Do not distribute or reproduce without the express permission of the Artist)

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NOT a real catheter.

Catheter Trivia: Benjamin Franklin invented the flexible catheter in 1752 when his brother suffered from bladder stones. Franklin's catheter was made of METAL with segments hinged together and a wire enclosed to provide rigidity during insertion.

Think about that for just a moment.

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