6's & 7'S
and all things crazy
How do you tell your son congratulations on finishing his final comp exams toward his PhD? I guess you could send wine or flowers or even a card. But I am 1) broke and 2) not your average mom. I decided to punk him instead. Knowing that my son is an Obama supporter, I decided to send him text messages from a fake service called 'Mitt by the Minute'. The problem was he'd recognize my phone number and I'm not phone savvy enough to hide it. I needed help, and I found that help in my friend, Erica Lucke Dean, who is 1) a prankster herself and 2) has a cell phone with a Georgia area code. Perfect. So while my son sat in a bar with his peeps celebrating his academic success, Erica and I were communicating via the computer and she sent the first message:
Thank you for subscribing to Mitt By the Minute. A fact a minute about Mitt Romney. To unsubscribe, reply with f9877OIT43226.
Which was followed by a 'fact' (that we made up) every minute until he finally went completely over the edge.
Of course he tried texting back 'stop' and 'unsubscribe' and everything else he could think of, but his texts were met with "I'm sorry, that response is not recognized" followed by another 'fact'.
It took about ten minutes before I got the phone call.
"Mom, I've got a problem. Someone keeps sending me these little tidbits about Mitt Romney every minute, and I can't unsubscribe. It keeps saying 'unrecognized' when I try. I called T-mobile and they said I'd have to change my number to get it to stop!"
Me: Well son, you shouldn't have subscribed to it.
He: I didn't subscribe to it!
Me: What kind of things are they sending you?
He: Mitt Romney played Daddy Warbucks in an off Broadway production of Annie.
Me: Really? I didn't know that.
He: No! He didn't! Oh, my phone just beeped, here's another one. (Pause) Mitt Romney is your real daddy.
Me: I don't remember ever being that drunk. But, of course, if I was that drunk, I guess I wouldn't remember.
He: Mom, this is not funny.
Me: Well, maybe it will be interesting to learn a few things about the guy, right?
He: NO! Here's another one: Mitt Romney is unofficially Team Edward.
Me: Huh. I'd have thought him more of a Jacob kind of guy.
He: I can't believe you are not taking this seriously. My phone just beeped: another one. Mitt is going to ask and you better tell. WTF?
And so it went until I thought I heard him start to prematurely bald. I messaged Erica to send the last text:
He: OMG! Another one!
Me: What's it say?
He (laughing): Your mother says congratulations on your comp exams. And stop being such a wimp. Ha! This is great. I've been punked!
Me: Oh, yes you have.
He then texted Erica back with :
Ha ha hilarious, you win. I was panicking that I was being spammed. That was really good, I definitely got pranked!
And she added one more:
Mitt by the Minute is unsubscribing you for not playing along. Your information will be forwarded to Obama by the Minute.
Here are some of our other 'Mitt by the Minute' texts to my son:
Mitt Romney once saved three babies and two kittens from a burning building.
Mitt Romney is an Olympic gold medalist, an ex-Navy Seal and fishes with his bare hands.
Mitt Romney cares about you.
Contrary to rumors, Mitt Romney is not rich. At least by rich people standards.
If elected, Mitt Romney will appoint Chuck Norris as Sec of Defense.
On the weekends, Mitt Romney plays Rocky in the Rocky Horror Picture Show in Salt Lake City.
Mitt Romney would have never cheated on Robert Pattinson.
Mitt supports changing the name of the Hoover Dam to the Hoover Darn.
The next round of drinks are on Mitt.
So while other parents will send the traditional congratulatory card and flowers, those will long be forgotten during the next few grueling years of dissertation work. But I don't think my son will ever forget that on the day he passed his comp exams, he got PUNKED.
Check out Erica Lucke Dean's humorous blog at www.ericaluckedean.com
And also meet my son, Dillon Stone Tatum, PhD student extraordinaire, a scholar with a sense of humor www.dillonstonetatum.com
Follow me on Twitter @KellySGamble
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