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Kelly Stone Gamble

BLOG: 6's & 7'S

You Might Have the Flu...

10/25/2013

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It's that time of year again when a lot of people are questioning whether they should or should not get a flu shot.  The biggest excuse I have heard from non-flu shot advocates is 'I got the shot and still got the flu'. Of course, there are reasons why this could happen, however, I have discovered that a lot of people don't really know what the flu is, and every time they get a sniffle, they claim to have the flu.  So in Jeff Foxworthy style, I thought I'd help those of you out that are too wrapped up in your influenza conspiracy theories to actually research it and find out the severity of the symptoms. Here we go:

  • fever-If the possibility of sticking your head in a cooler full of ice has occurred to you, you might have the flu.
  • chills-If you are wearing three sets of thermals, sitting in front of an open flame, wrapped in an electric blanket, drinking fire and you are still cold, you might have the flu.
  • headache-If you can feel your hair growing, and it's painful, you might have the flu.
  • muscle aches-If your finger hurts every time you push a button on the remote control, you might have the flu.
  • ear pain-If listening to Lionel Richie's greatest hits nonstop for 24 hours seems like a better alternative to your current ear pain, you might have the flu. You might also be deaf.
  • weakness-If you have made a bed on the bathroom floor, you might have the flu.
  • loss of appetite/nausea/vomiting-Biscuits and gravy. Pot roast. Warm, deep fried brownies with ice cream and caramel sauce. ---If you just threw up, you might have the flu. However, you might just have an aversion to good southern cooking, which is probably worse than having the flu.
  • sore throat-If you have finished every bottle in your liquor cabinet and still feel like you have swallowed a live hedgehog, you might have the flu.
  • runny nose-If you have gone through all of your Kleenex, toilet paper, paper towels, Handi-Wipes and are now looking for old socks, you might have the flu.
  •  cough-If you are checking your old socks for a random piece of lung, you might have the flu.
  • diarrhea-If you have a stack of newspaper next to your toilet and have gone beyond caring that you may actually be losing a few pounds, you might have the flu.
  • tiredness-If you've made it this far without having to take a nap, you probably DON'T have the flu.
  • dizziness-If you can see and type well enough to update your Facebook status to say: 'I have the flu', you probably DON'T have the flu. And unless your keyboard is attached to your commode, how are you typing anyway?
  • irritability-If you become apoplectic when you read all of the Influenza conspiracy theories that are on the internet, you probably DON'T have the flu. You might, however, be a nurse.
Flu symptoms are very severe. It's not a 'bad cold', and it can lead to pneumonia and death. Take it seriously.  If you have any of the above symptoms, please see your doctor. If you have more than one, wear a mask and a Depends when you go to his office.  

As for me, getting the shot  is a no-brainer, not just to protect myself, but those I come in contact with. For me, any risk, any 'problems' are definitely outweighed by the benefits. BUT, everyone is free to do their own research and make their own choices.






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Blessing Hearts at the Glow Run--Las Vegas

10/17/2013

4 Comments

 
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If you follow my blog, you know that some time in April I decided I wanted to be a runner. I run with the arms of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, and have one flat foot and one that pirouettes, but, I've discovered that in running, looking funny isn't necessarily a bad thing. But being older? That's an entirely different story.

I ran my first 5K last Saturday, the Glow Run in Las Vegas. Imagine how proud I was to cross the finish line, behind a guy in a onesie wearing a horse's head, and in front of all the toddlers I had to trip to beat them.  Then came the major deflation. Some little twit hands me a coupon and says, "Great! Now go get a drink, Grandma."

GRANDMA?!!? My first thought was to show her the upper cut that 'Grandma' is famous for. My second was to remind her skinny little behind that 'Grandma' just ran three miles while she stood at the finish line passing out drink coupons. My third was to take her in the bar and show her that 'Grandma' could not only outrun her, but could waste her on the pool table, drink her under the table and still be at work by 6 a.m.

But, in my 'old age', I have learned a few things. The tactics above may be a lot of fun, but, there is a much better way for a good girl from the Midwest to say her piece.


I simply smiled and said, "Bless Your Heart."

Which for those of you that don't know, is Kansas code for 'Kiss My Ass.'



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